Dear..

Dear,
Can you hear me?
Every minutes I am speaking to you from deep inside my heart. 
Could you hear me?

Everything I am doing, I am doing it for you.
Everything I am fighting for, they are for you. I have been working so hard, for you.

Are you there when I say all the words inside my heart?
I can not tell anyone. I can only express my feelings through writing it down. 

I always wonder what you are doing. Are you watching me?
What do you think of me?
Do you ever think of me? Where are you now? Where...? and when can I see you again?
I asked myself so many times..
What can I do to make you happier?
It's Christmas Eve.. I never ever like Christmas ..again.
Because I miss you.
I miss you so much... My heart ache. Like no one understand how I feel, no one understand.
No matter how long it had happened, I cannot forget. I cannot forget all the things I have done for you..
Do you know?

You taught me, what love is.
You taught me the reality is cruel and I need to work hard to get what I want. Sometimes I don't get what I want even though I try my hardest.
You made me know myself more, How weak I am.. How much I can do when there's problem.
You made me push myself so hard.. work so hard because I do not want a single moment to think of you. I want to collapse, faint and never get up.
You meant so much to me. . .
You.. made me learn how to forgive others... Forgive and consider for others..

When will we meet?

最難過的 感覺

感覺一直在飄浮
時有時沒的

感覺寫不出來 只會在停留在腦海裡
感覺可以記下來嗎 像攝影一樣 把那一刻留下來 留給回憶

曾經有人對我說 不要太介意現在的事 因為到未來的時候 你可能已經忘記了 或者 也不會在乎
應該擁有一種心態 付出了 不要計算 不要想收穫

每個人都會在其他人身上學到一些東西 像相處之道 價值等等
不知不覺 會變的

我知道 我還有一段很遙遠的路程 要自己走過
很辛苦 當我摔到的時候 當我以為有人支持我的時候 “教我慢慢站起來 
一步一步走下去 走錯了 沒關係 繼續走 雖然會完成這段路的時間會比較久 沒關係的”
但是原來那個時候才發現 那人讓我再摔一次 要我自己站起來
要我變得更努力工作 變得更獨立 是時候給多點時間在自己身上
 累了 就給自己休息一下
    我真的好累

P L A Y G R O U N D

學校的事已經令我很煩.
當我以為有個新開始..
其實是相反..
我發覺我原來還有一個問題會需要很久很久的時間讓我去適應.
其實我不想.
不想去試.
不想去改變.

如果這個問題真的是那麼困難..
我知道 最後我只會放棄..
我覺得自己可以拋開以前的事 有個新開始 已經是踏出了一大步
至少這次我有勇氣踏出這一步

L O V E / H A T E

  L O V E

----------------------------------------------

 H A T E

It`s the feelings that Kimi doesn't want to let it go.

She doesn't want to forget. It stays there no matter how long it has been, it wont fade away.

It is the feelings that could makes people do wrong. feel regret and guilty afterward.

Does feelings fade away?

It depends, Kelvin said. Kimi agree with him. It depends how strong is the feeling and how much you care.

Feeling could change a person, Kimi had changed a lots. Thanks to Y O U.  the way she thinks.

Kimi hated herself because of the feeling she had. Now it`s O V E R.. she is not going to do any harm to herself anymore. physically or mentally. whatever. She is trying hard to be happy. 

It has been a while, no more tears drop.

Just want to say, once YOU`D HURT someone, there's SCAR that stay in their heart forever to remind them what YOU DID.

F A I R Y F L O S S

Sometimes Kimi  just wish she could go back to the days where she could only has her happiness.

Even though, There aren't much.

As we grow older, we found its harder to be happy. It is because we want more, we need more than we used to.

Kimi does not hide her feelings anymore. At least kimi is trying not to hide. Kimi is not ashamed of what she did to herself, how she hurt herself. I guess, she does not need anyone to accept for WHAT she is, because she is getting to know herself better. As long she knows herself, is not a matter anymore.

She stopped drawing and writing for a while. 

Drawing and writing used to be her weekly activity.

Kimi thought stop drawing and writing could make her forget what happened, or maybe "theres nothing happened". 

Does this really help? She doesnt know either.

Does kimi know what she is doing? Does she know what she want?

I guess, She is still finding the answers. She lost herself. she is still finding the faiths she used to have. Oh yes, she is still feel ashamed of what happened with someone. she is not good enough. Thats how she lose her faiths.

Glad that Kimi knows what she likes. 

Unfortunately, she doesnt know if she should follows her dream.

Or if she does, Is anybody going to support her? well, maybe the question is " Is anybody going to AGAINST?"

F A I R Y F L O S S . C A N D Y F L O S S . just randomly came up in my mind.